Model number 001

"Oh! You like cats? I love them!!", she gushes, while the rest of us are all a bit lost for words. We know her history. She’s never had a cat, may even be allergic and remarked just last week that the Chinese way of serving them with chips and a green salad would be the only thing cats were good for, but now, heck yes, just like you, she ADORES cats!!

Don't you find phony people just a bit much? Imitation might be the sincerest form of flattery but when taken too far it becomes the sincerest form of psychosis! And some folk are so phony they should have a "made in china" label branded to their feet!

I've always wondered what goes through the minds (we shall assume they have them) of chameleon people who try to imitate others rather then just being themselves. Cause see the thing is, that no matter how long they hold the pretence up sooner or later the cracks are going to show. The Imitator will slip up, or get caught in lies, or start getting over intense so that they end up boiling your favourite pet rabbit on the stove when you do something they think you shouldn't have. I've lost more friends that way...

The worst sorts then go ahead and have a mix with equal measure one part phony, one part pretentiousness. The sort who'll go out and buy “The Secret” and then confidently tell you they'd never follow a popular trend! The sort who talk of how deep, how emotional, sensitive and intelligent they are, how they follow the flow of the universe and are in touch with their inner aardvark. (They're often easily recognizable by their "mysterious air" created by their own “unique” fashion sense involving too many scarves and not enough bathing! )

Has anyone ever noticed that for all these intensive deep thoughts they never seem to move on or get anywhere? They never change or use their “super magic mind powers” in anyway? And isn’t it curious how their vast depths and gut feelings they talk of look remarkably like the stuff written on that inspiration quotes page you got forwarded last Wednesday?

I wonder why they do it, flitting from person to person, getting caught out, and moving on again, effortlessly latch onto something else and attempt to be like them instead. Being themselves seems to never enter the equation, perhaps from fear of rejection? Perhaps from arrogance, or perhaps from just having too many bats in their crowded, poop lined belfry?

I suppose the fake and pretentious will always be with us, cuddling our cats as they scream inside, telling us how wonderful we are then running to another friend and telling them how much we suck, like totally, and then running back to us to do the same. (Meaning if nothing else they’re extremely fit with all that exercise...)

What is the point of all this that I wrote? Actually really not a thing it was just on my mind and I thought it might look spiffy on “paper”. Fake people are just another variety of the weird and wonderful you get out there and I felt they deserved a turn in the spotlight. Aaaah, so giving I am! < - - said in best Yoda voice.